Hi. Brief background... (Don't know how to link my last few threads, sorry!)
Me 34, H 37, two daughters 3 y.o. and 15 months.
June 02 H deployed for 120 days, things got bad. He had an EA, although he still doesn't admit that's what it was.
We tried to work things out, guess it didn't work.
On Dec. 2, H dropped the bomb. ILY, but Not In Love With You. No other woman, he denies it, and I believe him since I've found no proof (and of course, I snooped in the beginning).
H claimed he didn't have feelings for me, wanted a D, empty inside, etc. I begged, pleaded, for one more chance. We never really had fights, or anything b/4 this. I had some changing to do. H agreed to give it some time.
I realized my deep insecurities in myself, and baggage that I carried with me, caused a lot of problems. I've been working so hard to change that. And, I guess H noticed.
Said he was back in love with me, very happy, wanted to spend his life with me, etc. This happened at the end of Jan.
Feb. 14, I got a beautiful love letter. He wrote how much he loves me, wants to spend forever with me, etc.
I'm suprised at the way things turned around, but I think he still had feelings for me when he first dropped the bomb, but maybe didn't want to???
Anyway, I'm still working on my insecurities (scared H will leave me, etc.)
H has made some changes too, and I'm so grateful! I'm also grateful for this board!!
I'm trying to let go of doubt, and let go of anger that stems from the hurt that I felt for so long (since June). I realize that our "new R" will not survive if I live in the past.
