need help to win back WAW

[NikB]

She means everything to me and I will go down fighting. I will not lose her. That is just unacceptable to me.

I know this feeling well, but it's a REALLY unhealthy one both for you and W. She's not a posession to be won or lost. She's a human being who wants and deserves to be happy, just like you do. It's not your responsibility to make her happy, but you do have to figure out how to make yourself happy and how to be a strong person all on your own. Then you get to hope she does the same, and that you can work on a better M.

Maybe my PMA will influence her a little and get her out of her down. She has been pretty mad at me for "ruining" her family visit by talking about R. So she stops saying ILY cuz she's mad at me. Talk about women holding a grudge. I'd never stop saying that even if I'm mad at her. That's how I feel no matter what.

Yep, hopefully your PMA will help - but remember it's for you, not to control her.

You may want to look at the ILY thing from another angle. Every time you say it, you're putting pressure on her to say it back. And reminding her that she doesn't want to say it back, because she doesn't feel that way right now (ouch, sorry). Yes it's how you feel, but right now you need to be careful how much of your feelings you're sharing with her.

Glad you met with Jody, sounds like she gave you a lot of very sound advice.

Yes, this is going to be harder than you can imagine, and take longer than you'd ever believe. Be patient, keep detaching and working on you.