Nomopo's Thread - Is something happening to me?

[Just_Me]

Nomo,

I know this is a week after your initial post and attitudes and moods flip-flop quicker than that on this rollercoaster, but I wanted to express an opinion on something you wrote.

You worried that maybe you'd ruin your chances if you truly reached the point of accepting the divorce, moving forward, and detaching completely. And you worried what would occur from the standpoint of your wife if that came out. And that too me says you are still too attached. I guess I don't quite understand what you have been doing that is still holding on as opposed to what you fear will be different should you actually let go. If you keep having hope your wife will want to try or you keep your life on hold waiting just in case, does that increase your odds of success? If your wife doesn't care if you still hold out hope, why does it matter if you do or don't? My questions don't seem clear, but I often wonder what some people mean by "standing" when their spouse isn't even allowing them to do anything. It seems a lot like "standing still".

You should let go. You should be forging ahead. Does that mean you will never be back with your wife? No, it just means you accept that there is a good chance it won't happen. But that doesn't mean there is no chance. That decision has always been in your wife's hands whether you let go or hold on for dear life, she will do whatever she feels is best for her.