I know what I am suggesting here, and all this talk about 'energy' balance, seems very esoteric and philosophical. But for those of you who have attempted what's been suggested, it seems as though you are coming to experience that it is far from being esoteric. It's dam hard... and sometimes stunning to realize how 'little' we know about ourselves. As LM pointed out, which my shrink pointed out to me, over and over, a lot of us just live the life that seems to unfold in front of us in a kind of 'general direction' type way. I know I did. And then I'd wonder why I wasn't really happy with the way things were going.
LM, I think it is outstanding that you are pursuing your musical passion, and further, that you actually understand the fear(? -- hesitancy, reluctance?) that comes from possibly exposing your passions to the world, or even those most important to you. That is vulnerability.
But... that is the whole point of the exercise.
GGB, yes, you get it. Stick with it.
IM0807:
Quote:
I know it's the thing to do to help salvage our marriage but it's just really hard to just let go and go do things that make my happy. I feel as though I should be trying to do more things with the wife to try and bring us closer instead of out having fun myself. I sense that if I don't do something to help us then nobody will because the wife seems to feel that the problems we are having is my problem instead of both of ours.
Again, this IS actually a constructive, concrete thing you are doing to help your M, in a positive way. You are not constantly hammering on the problems and issues.
Sometimes what we need to do to draw us closer to our spouses is the most counter-intuitive thing we could imagine. But think of it this way. Giving them space is exactly what is needed sometimes to infuse oxygen into the R... oxygen that was being 'snuffed' out by our 'suffocating' behaviors. Behaviors that stem from the our honest intent to be close, but which is in fact... too close.
Keep going, y'all. And keep posting here about your thoughts, attempts and progresses/setbacks. Doing so is as important as any other part of this exercise.
