I was on my knees begging...and you know the rest.

[chicki]

Good morning!!!! How are you this morning?

Has your D started school yet?

I was thankful out of my 3 girls anoly one had hamoework,YIPEE!! Homework plus ballet last night led to a very tiring night & not tomention my H's childish behaviour!! What a night I had.

[MissingMyHoney]

Good morning, I am doing great this morning. D isnt in school as yet due to W waiting so long to find a preK for her, now W is worried about this. I am not blaming her but this shows how she can simply put off D's attention to pursue her own selfish decisions. All this while, I keep on telling W we need to find D a new preK. I have been saying this just like a preacher saying a sermon, but W refused to take any action. Now, it may be a bit late since most if not all preK are filled or started the school year already.

Thats great you had a wonderful night, my W turned on the kitchen light at 1 AM and I awake then she went to bed 15 mins later. But I had no doubt she was reading her Marketing assignment.

[MissingMyHoney]

W said she will moved out end of Sept. W broke the final bad news tonight since shes adamant about doing this. All I could say is OK. Nothing else, silence...you could hear a pin dropped. My demeanor changed. I went into the bedroom and got my sleeping stuff and now am laying on the couch. Bedroom door is closed so I dont know what W is up to. So much for being supportive of her education now.

W wants to moved D to a new daycare/preK and it will cost more but W isnt saying if she will help with that additional cost and I dont even want to bring it up. I am about to put D on my medical insurance plan since my benefits are great, thats an additional cost already or soon to be.

I am now in a bad mood and trying not to think of the situation but a tear came to my eye. Hopefully, I can sleep tonight.

[MissingMyHoney]

I did get some sleep. I awake very early and turn on the tv to watch the news. I got out of my 'bed' and took a shower, get ready for work and saw W and D still sleeping. I asked W if she will take D to daycare and she said yes. They woke up at 7:30 and D came to me. D hugged me and sat with me for 10 mins. Tears came to my eyes since I am beginning to miss them already. Approx 30 days from now I wont be able to do what I did this morning with D.

It hurts knowing that D will suffer through this.

Lastnight, W said for me not to be looking at her a**. I didnt responded. But besides the bad news that W broke we had an ok evening.

Now W is desperate to find D a new daycare/preK. All W can find are private ones which are church affiliated. D hasnt been baptised in any church as yet - bad judgement on W's part. I am catholic but recently became a member of a christian church, W is Jehovah Witness - two different views on God.

I am not well, trying to cope with things right now. Trying to have a positive attitude.

[DaveJ]

Missing, I've been dreading the same things about my kids. I soon will not be able see them every morning. Get hugs from them in the morning when I leave for work. Having them run to me for hugs when I come home at night. Put them to bed every night. BTW, I've always been the one that put both of them to bed and read to my S. This is very difficult and emotional. I so do not want to be a part time dad. I so hope that my W would think about our kids when she tries to get clarity during our S. I hope you can be strong and hang in there. Take it to heart that you love your D and what you can do is to be the best father you can be to her.

[chicki]

I am glad you are seeking God in all of this. Beleive me HE will be your strength. Without his strength I could not get out of bed everyday or have the PEACE as I do now.

My MIL is Jehova Witness & yes they view the Word of God very differntly.

[MissingMyHoney]

DaveJ, those moments are the very best one can experience and yes its extremely emotional. It hurts to know that the children are so innocent of all the crap that is occuring during the M & R. They are not at fault and are in between the tug of war. If only God can make miracles happend, do it for us. If we had done wrong and have asked for absolution, then we hold no grudge. We admit our faults and are working on making ourselves better. Why cant our W's see this in light of all the selfishness, anger and hate they see.

Why cant our W's turn to God and ask why did their H's acted the way they did and now they are making changes? Why cant the W's just forgive us and start the healing process?

I just got off the phone with my W and we spoke of D's pre-K. W asked if my church has a Pre-K and I said yes. I told her I already was going to suggest this to her but hesitated since I didnt want her to say because its my church I want D to go there. Now, W is the one who asked and I made the call to get some information. This is God sent! I wanted this to happend in that eventually W can go to church with D and I as a family. I would really hope W agrees on this Pre-K.

[MissingMyHoney]

24, nothing much has changed except W went to bed early and got a new webcam. It seems she prolly wants to show OM how she dresses each day to work. I said today I looked so handsome in my work clother so I need to take pics - hint hint. W just looked at me and didnt say anything. But then I sent her this message this morning. She got my response but still called to see if I was gonna meet her. I told her I would but her explanation is below.


-----Original Message-----
From:
Sent: Thursday, August 23, 2007 9:10 AM
To:
Subject: RE:

What are you going to be doing around there? I don't get any noon break
since I don't go in until 11:15 I cant take a break at noon. I cant stop and
come downstairs since our system is going thru an upgrade and we are very
busy.

"I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it."
Maya Angelou

-----Original Message-----
From:
Sent: Thursday, August 23, 2007 9:00 AM
To: E-mail)
Subject:

do u want me to come visit you at your noon break since I will be in your
neck of the wood around noonish? I have an appt near Creve Croeur.

[MissingMyHoney]

Well, our night ended by both of us getting angry with each other. W came home and had dinner and said she didnt ate any of the food I cooked since she didnt wanted me to tell her about eating it. I had written her an email asking if she was gonna have dinner with D and I and the reason being I didnt had enough shrimp to cook (I had to buy some more but I didnt tell her that). So I said she can have a little and if she wants to she can make a salad. This pissed her off and she didnt eat the dinner that was cooked.

W said well I didnt ate YOUR food and I WONT eat YOUR any of your grocery. So I said, Oh God, what's going on now? W didnt answered. I took my wallet and keys and went for a little drive, by the time I returned (10 mins)D was already in bed. So I put on a happy face and started to apply for some jobs in IL and CA.

Later, W came out while I was watching tv and asked if I had gotten my sleeping stuff. I said no and she brought them to me and said you dont have to sleep on the couch. Then, I said why all of a sudden you are so pissed. This ticked W off and then I brought up the issue with her buying a webcam and I told her I saw all her online pics already and they are beautiful but it seems the next step will be camcorder. Since she is already taking pics from cam phone, webcam, next will be camcorder.

Then W said that OM is a much better man than I am. I told her how in the world OM will be better when he is in a dead end job, dont give a damn about furthering his education and career. I told her OM can never measure up to me. I told her it seems that you will be footing all of OM's bills due to being so arrogant.

I told W that the only reason why wants a D is because she is selfish and dont have an concrete reason for doing so. W cannot give me no reason for a D other than she wants to be alone. I told her it cost me 3 gran to move her to this state and she has not paid a penny towards that credit card bill. Now, she will be moving out after all I have done for her and she has not paid a cent in our home - what a free ride.

I told her it was so important to argue and the evening discussion should have been D's pre-K and she prefered to argue about food - wtf. No common sense and priorities I see. I even told her when I was in MD I paid for her car insurance and to date is still footing that bill.

W said I didnt do anything for her. I told her I am the primary owner of her car and my signature is the primary on the car loan papers. If I didnt do anything for her, my name would have not appeared. I told her that OM could not even get his W a car since he dont want her to be going place - what a mean person this is and this is the OM she wants to be with. A proven cheater and dont give a damn about his W and family - wtf.

I ended my preaching by saying she smells so great since she had recently took a shower and I went to bed. W said I smelled like s***. I told her that's what made both of us! Then I turned off the lamp.

This morning, I told her I was sorry I got upset with her and I didnt see a reason for us to quarell. W said she will see about getting her own car insurance and I told her good luck. It doesnt mean I will drop her car off mine, it means she will be quoted with a higher premium than what I am currently paying for 2 cars.

W saw how loving our D was with me prior to my taking D to daycare. I didnt say anything except enjoyed the precious moment as to I am beginning to count the days down.

Another note, W said the cops told her that I will tell her anything so she can stay with me. I told her who are they to be telling her this bunch of BS when if anyone of them were in my shoe would have been doing the same things to save their M. Dont call the cops for any reason!

Positive attitude J!!!

[MissingMyHoney]

Wknd update, W and I took D to see butterflies since D love them so much. D had so much fun! At the butterfly house there is a very nice park. D liked being in the park where she can run and do so much. We had a pleasant Saturday and I felt so in love with W since I am open to do all these events. Funny how W reacted last Thursday when we argued. Friday night, it was raining so D and I ordered Chinese take out. D and I had dinner together and W came home. W was hungry she had dinner and enjoyed it very much, then we had to go to UPS to get D's leapfrog books. Upon returning, we stopped by DQ and got dessert. We all enjoyed doing so. We discussed about D's pre-K and were very contented we will get D into a early childhood program.

I watched a movie alone but W didnt stayed up too late and neither did I. On Saturday night, I put on a movie about relationship "I think I love my wife." Rather funny but we enjoyed it very much. It's the first time that W watched a movie with me in a very long time. W enjoyed it and went to bed thereafter.

Sunday, we didnt do too much since W had to do her online courses and I kept D contented. D and I went out for a few and came back to make dinner. We all had dinner and had a splendid afternoon. I did my Sunday chores and thereafter spend some educational time with D. I put on Lords of the Ring - Return of the King since it was on TNT and shut down the computer.

W came and asked what was I watching and I told her, W said she would like to watch it on dvd. I told W we can do so, we wathced the movie on dvd and went to be rather late. In all, we spent some quality time together again and I felt so great about this happening.

Thinking about the entire weekend made me feel so special that for once in my life I am doing something right - I share myself with my family and give my family all my time. I LOVE doing so! It's the new ME. I even got a hair cut and got some more work shirts.

Something to reflect on, W said when she moved she would not want for me to go and see her every minute. It means she wont mind if I come to visit with her but dont want to see me as often as I chose. I wont do this but I will still plan activities around the family including her. W said she had a nightmare Saturday night and I thought why didnt she come and get me so I can cuddle and make her feel save - LOL. W wanted but was afraid we may do something else so she stayed away.

To recap, we both enjoyed our weekend with each other eventhough we had D with us but this is what W likes to do. W admires to a husband who spends quality family time and that is exactly what I am doing.

Hopefully, we have a good week and it's possible I can ask W to go to Chicago for the long holiday wknd.