Frustrated and More Saddened #3

[stewart10]

Hey Limbo

I understand what you are saying about forgiveness. I realize that if I am going to make a go of this, that I have to forgive her for everything wholeheartedly and I cannot harbor resentment that is going to come out every time we have a disagreement. That is not going to make things any better.

The strange thing now is, this last time hasn't even bothered me that much, it was just kind of like here we go again, and deal with it, the pain was there, but I could deal with it, with a few bumpy patches, thoughts of her don't really weigh as heavy as before.

This is very strange. But I guess after going through it, you can become numb to the pain that it causes. I guess I am still holding out hope that there is no OM but more and mroe I am realizing that there probably is.

Its funny we see ourselves as weak and without respect, but really we are the strongest of the strong, to go threw what we have and still be standing, and not only that but trying to help others threw also!!

It is not that I think that I am weak. I just do not like what she has done to me personally and emotionally. I know that if things don't work out, that I will get better with time, but right now, I just feel so far away from the person that I am. I know that I am the only one that can get me back to being that person, but my path is clouded right now. It is tough to see the way.

Well she slept at her friends' house last night. Did not hear from her until 5:00 am this morning when she texted me saying that she was going to sleep and goodnight. Why is she acting like a spoiled teenager? Honestly, she is 28 years old and married. Why is she bar hopping and staying out until 5:00 in the morning? I just don't understand.