Pushing for Dissolution

[Dr.mom]

I am muddling through Dissolution as well. Although husband really wants it, it is not just a threat.

From what I have heard, things can move pretty fast with a dissolution, as opposed to filling for divorce. Once you agree on things and set the paperwork in motion, it gets finalized very quickly.

I stalled husband from going forward with paperwork until the 2nd week of September. I am trying to buy as much time as I can, waiting for him to come out of the haze and realize we can work this out.

Not getting much positive response lately, so I fear the inevitable. On pins and needles until September.

I have talked to lawyers about what would happen if I really "stalled" the dissolution, not handed in papers, etc. etc. They said it might make husband mad, and he might get fed up and file for divorce.

Right now I stand to lose a lot financially. Lawyers tend to think husband may feel very guilty, and try to offer me a better settlement through dissolution. Better than any judge would award me if he filed for divorce. So, I have to "play nice".

I have yet to see any paperwork. He has not even mentioned discussion of lawyers, settlements, etc. etc. I am afraid to bring it up.

My advice to you is buy time. Time is your friend. Have you read the Divorce Busting /Divorce remedy books?

What would happen if you stalled on the paperwork?

I would also recommend making some "conditional demands" on your wife. Like going to a marital retreat, to give it one more try. I highly recommend the Retrouvaille (Retrouvaille.org) weekend for troubled marriages. A really fabulous experience. This will be very good for your wife, to see that you, and the marriage really can change.

You have a shred of hope. The fact that your wife would "want" the marriage, if things could change.
My husband can't see change, nor does he want it. He just gave up. Nothing else I can do.

I know you are in Ohio. They are having a Retrouvaille weekend in September. You can also see which weekend they may be one in Texas. I needed to get H to one right away, we went to a weekend in a neighboring state.

Get her to commit to going, then back of and leave her alone. Read DB/DR and work on yourself. They WILL see the changes, even if you don't live together.