Plank removed from eye, too late for WAW 3

[alk24]

I was just skimming through this last page of your post and found the info on your screen name. I love it! I've always loved butterflies and thought of myself going through a continuous metamorphasis. I am always looking to change, for the better, and keep striving to be that beautiful (bella) butterfly.


p.s. Kelley, I think the tattoo is a great idea. I got one for my 35th bday and I have no regrets. I only wish to add to it...what I want to add is still up in the air.

[Heimlich]

Thanks, Mandi. What's up with the new screen name?

Man, what is up with you people and the tattoos? The sad part is, the more I hear everyone talking about it, the more interested I become. Still too chicken. Maybe I can get Matt to hold my hand if I ever get up the nerve.

And, OT, if you're ever in the DC area, you've got a standing dinner invite. I owe you for forcing me through some hard truths I was trying to grope my way through.

Actually, that goes for all of you, but the rest of your go dutch

BD

[dlt1]

Dutch? what's up with that? LOL Selfish here for a minute, if yiu can, hop to my thread. Just had the wrost night of my life. But I have the opp to shape up and move on now. Taking DB to me next stage...

[Heimlich]

Yeah, Dutch. Separated father of two living in one of the most expensive areas of the country.

Now, if my W and I do emerge from all of this together, it's on me.

Put some thoughts on your thread. Man, I am so sorry.

BD

[Not Much Left]

Hi H

[delia]

It's hard to describe here, but you ever get the sense that someone wants to talk but is holding back because they're afraid of what you're going to say? I just reread what I wrote and it does sound pushy, but, really -- and after the last few days I think I can tell the difference now \:\) -- it wasn't. It was more of a "I'm not in a bad mood, it's ok for us to just have a normal conversation" thing. And we did have a nice dinner with the girls after.

Hi Heimlich--

I've just started to read your new post, and this attracted my attention. I've never been sure myself about how I should interact with my husband. What you wrote here reminded me of something posted by Just-me---something very interesting, I thought:

We were separated only 4 months or so before she filed for divorce. Is was very amicable. We sat down and discussed the terms, the divorce was written up by her lawyer, and I signed them. That was it...marriage over.

We actually never stopped seeing each other. From the time she moved out we saw each other quite frequently. We'd go to dinner, movies, go for walks, play tennis, she'd come over to help with housework or to hang out, she'd swing by some nights just to talk, and that continued through and after the divorce. We actually were seeing much less of each other in maybe 3-4 months after the divorce. I had started dating and stopped perseverating on whether we'd ever be a couple again. I'd resigned myself to the fact that we wouldn't. Then, about 6 months after the divorce was final she called me up crying and wondered if I'd think about trying again. After about a month of her "thinking" or whatever, she stayed the night and has stayed every night since. That was in Jan of 2006. We got married again this June.

GoneDancin, it really is up to her what happens next. My wife frequently initiated opportunities to get together, but so did I, because they were usually accepted. If I asked if she wanted to do something she usually did. That's not to say that it was that great of a plan. I think she was relieved when I started to get more distance and started seeing other people. I don't think I gave her enough breathing room, but we did get along really well. I think a healthy dose of interaction and a healthy dose of distance would be best. But how much, if any, contact you have will be up to her. Hopefully you'll be someone she enjoys being around and will initiate opportunities to get together. If not, you can try to create some opportunities.

It sounds like the friendship just never really faded out in this case---that the couple basically talked as friends, just as before---and that this worked out well.

[oldtimer]

I think this was the main point of that post:

"I think she was relieved when I started to get more distance and started seeing other people. I don't think I gave her enough breathing room, but we did get along really well. "

Hmmm. So, W had to get D to get the space she wanted. Perhaps the D would not have been necessary if she had more space during S. JustMe couldn't give her that space without the D and without dating. But, it is possible to give someone space without dating or getting a D. It is simply a matter of whether you choose to do it or not.

[Heimlich]

OT,

A stiletto rather than a 2x4? That's different for you

Seriously, I'm getting it. It's taken longer than I would like, but I'm getting it.

W stopped in at an apartment complex yesterday and found a really good deal and called to tell me about it. She did say that she wasn't trying to push me out, but just to help find something decent. Told her I didn't feel that way at all, that I respect her opinion and appreciate her help and friendliness in all of this.

She called me again this morning to make sure I was up and taking the girls to daycare -- worked and posted here late into last night (she knows about work, not this). Asked her opinion on taking this apt versus searching and the likelihood of getting a similar price (great for the area) in a similar neighborhood. She reiterated she's not trying to push me out. Said thanks and again that I appreciate her input and want and respect her opinion.

Didn't mention anything about us.

BD

[oldtimer]

Host to houseguest: "Hey Bob, of course you are welcome to keep enjoying our hospitality. But, I just wanted to let you know that there is an amazing deal on a nice hotel across town."

(1) Set a boundary here. Trust me, you will not like W's mark being on your place: "W, I really appreciate your help and respect your opinion. But this apartment needs to be my own place. So, please back off."


(2) Find your own place. This weekend. Move within a week. You might want to call some Realtors. The housing market is terrible. There are homes/condos/townhouses sitting vacant with desparate owners paying two mortgages. You can likely find a great deal if you are willing to go month to month in case the property sells.

[waw1978]

H-

I have faith that we will get you on the tattoo wagon sooner than later. Just don't get Heimlich as cute as he may be LOL.

Good luck with your apt search and don't forget the big manly TV!