I'm back! Heard a great speaker yesterday on Stress Management and decided I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and move ahead. I should probably move to "surviving", but still have issues to deal with re. infidelity/jealousy before I move over there.
Here is an update:
1. I filed (I am the one with the lawyer; H wants to save money and not get a lawyer as long as we can come up with our agreement together). I know I needed a lawyer. 2. Met with a divorce financial planner/mediator with H. I thought that would help, but I actually felt worse after that meeting! Amazing how everything is MY fault! 3. Will make an appt for counseling for me(with the speaker I heard on stress mgt. I liked her style and can get 3 free sessions thru work). 4. Keep with my current job, but reframe my attitude! I can still actively look for a job, but try to find some enjoyment where I am now). 5. Back to improving my health: exercise and eat better (I haven't been a good example for my poor D16 ...haven't felt like cooking and I just grab fast food for her). I also plan to get some health appts scheduled before my health insurance changes (like that colonscopy I have put off for years!)
Still have good days and bad days, but trying to control my feelings instead of having H control them!
Hi Mattie, Glad you are back...I think we could all move to survivng. I have listened to a lot of Self help CD's. There was one clinic on setting goals and moving a head but it was expense but I think it would have really made a difference for me. But I decided I couldn't afford it right now. But I am trying to set some small goals like you. Get things going for me. I am always here for you. I think we have all let our H control us one way or another. I to am feeling better about moving ahead. You have a great day and stay strong....(((hugs))))
Hi Mattie, Glad you are back...I think we could all move to survivng. I have listened to a lot of Self help CD's. There was one clinic on setting goals and moving a head but it was expense but I think it would have really made a difference for me. But I decided I couldn't afford it right now. But I am trying to set some small goals like you. Get things going for me. I am always here for you. I think we have all let our H control us one way or another. I to am feeling better about moving ahead. You have a great day and stay strong....(((hugs))))
Hi Mattie, Glad you are back...I think we could all move to survivng. I have listened to a lot of Self help CD's. There was one clinic on setting goals and moving a head but it was expense but I think it would have really made a difference for me. But I decided I couldn't afford it right now. But I am trying to set some small goals like you. Get things going for me. I am always here for you. I think we have all let our H control us one way or another. I to am feeling better about moving ahead. You have a great day and stay strong....(((hugs))))
Mattie, It's wonderful that you are setting goals. I hope you are better than me in accomplishing them. HA! I was going to paint bedroom this summer and it still not done. I'm such a procrasinator. Seriously, I think it is great that you are living for you and your daughter. Like NNP said we have to stop letting WAS control us and start controlling our own lives. It's getting easier. It looks like you are getting there. Hang in there we are all here for you. It does seem get easier, but we all still have our moments. If we didn't, we wouldn't be human. It's hard to just move on after the investment in life we have made with spouses.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
I hope you are better than me in accomplishing them.
Accomplishing the goals is the hard part, isn't it?!?!
Another goal for me should be to not listen to my H. Sometimes that is easy. The other day he told me we should have gotten divorced earlier so we wouldn't have lost money in the stock market. Amazing that it is MY FAULT the stock market fluctuates!!! You'd think he'd want me to keep me around if I have that much power!!!
