When I let go, I was able to stop filling my mind with the negative thoughts that were dominating my life. Before I let go, I could not get more than 2 hours of sleep a night. Once I was able to let go, I slept like a baby. The sadness and pain did subside. I can't say it went away totally. But what I did notice was that I started gaining the weight back. i never associated the weight with my happiness, until then.
The one thing that did bother me, was that I replaced the sadness and pain with anger. But the anger was only there when I was around her. Once I or she would leave, I felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. But even the anger was subsiding with time. Letting go allowed me to talk to her as an acquaintance, rather than an old friend or STBXW. I was able to treat her like less than a co-worker.
There was no OM. But that didn't stop me from thinking there was. How else could I convince myself why she was leaving. I didn't believe there could possibly be any other reason for it.
Don't get me wrong. I realize that letting go doesn't mean you are able to totally wipe that person from your memory. It is a long term process. When she left, we were in our 19th year of marriage. You can't just pretend it never happened. Just as a relationship takes time to manifest itself, so does the process of letting it go. I remember lying in my bed one night, praying for my wife. At the end of the prayer, I said goodbye to her. Of course she didn't hear it, but I had to say it to start my journey.
I was a long way from completely letting go, but at least I started going in that direction. I've said it before, time is our worst enemy and our best friend.
PoohBear
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
