When to move back in together?

[the girl]

Can anyone share some insight about the process of moving back in together?

My H tells me that he wants to live together again because it will force him to work on things and be less selfish.

I am thinking that I would like to see him be less selfish BEFORE we live together again.

I have been working hard at understanding and attempting to meet his needs, but he admits that he is unsure if he wants to meet mine. He says that we have not had a passionate connection for so long that it gives him 'pause' when he thinks about making the effort to meet my needs.

I said that the passion will return if we meet each other's basic needs and work on erasing the resentment. He seems to want to have the intense passion he had with the OW in our marriage, right away. If it isn't there then he hesitates putting forth the effort.

He takes so much and gives so little. Do I wait for him to start treating me well, then agree to move back in together, or do I agree to get together and wait/watch for him to start treating me better?

I don't understand how I can live with him again when I don't think he is able/willing to protect my heart. Do I make the jump into living in a marriage without trust, hoping and working to restore it, OR, do I wait for the trust to return and only then live together?

The Girl