S-Dogg, Expose. Let her feel the consequences. You are protecting her now. She's cake eating. You and the kids are suffering. This isn't vengence. This is being strong and being the Dad. Your a believer. Be like Jesus. Steel and Velvet. You are called to lead your family. And to protect them and to die for them if need be. I don't rememder my Bible verses tonite.
Anyways... I told DD12 on Thur. Told her that I wanted to tell her what was really going on so that she would have answers to her questions. (DDs had even starting asking my friend as to what was going on). I told her that mom had a boyfriend and that mom continued to make bad choices. Hence my moving DDs with me and divorcing mom. She asked who it was. I told her that it was someone from the resturant mom used to work at.
I told DD8 Fri w/DD12 present. Same things told. She said "So mom was cheating on you". (Ouch). A couple nites since we've had talks about this further. Discussions about how they feel about stuff but mostly they talk of what they are observing around them at WS house. They said they were afraid I'd abandon them. They were relieved I took them with me. DD8 thanked me for not doing to them what my dad did to me (abandonment at 5yrs old).
We talked of how I sheltered them from the chaos, as I hid and played intereference as best I could about mom not coming home or what hours she was keeping, etc. DD12 said "Never not tell us what's going on again". (Did I already say "Ouch"?).
We've also discussed "character" and right/wrong a bunch too. They feel that mom has done wrong. I've not gone into great detail of all the "wrongs". They know of WS drug and alcohol use. That she wasn't coming home, etc. Granted this stuff was being wrapped up a year ago, although the A was being pursued until exposure in Feb'07 and bad choices continue to be made. See way above and main post for details.
It went better than I thought it would. They were calm, quiet, and contained when finding this out. They were really strong. My poor little babies.. Sorry. I'm tearing up.
We've also discussed this poem a bunch and they've memorized the top already !!! --- Thoughts become actions Actions become Habits Habits become Character Character decides Destiny
Thinking positively and find solutions. Never give in to negative thoughts The seeds of positive thoughts that you sow will surely yield a beautiful harvest one day.... --- Hope this helps, Bro'. BoBeLiNa
