New and confused

[S.T. _I Made It!]

I did the same thing about the boundaries on the phone.

I believe you should take the time this week, or this weekend to talk to your H. Tell him you wanted to talk to him about some important things and when would be a good time for him to do that. Then when you bring it up tell him that you were very shocked about the phone conversations he had the other night. You realize that this is something that really hurt you and you would appreciate his respect on this issue. You would love for him to continue living here and that you don't want him to be out of the childrens lives sooner than you need to, but out of respect for you and the children you would like for him to please keep all contact with OW out of your home. and then ask him if he thinks that is a reasonable request that he can do. or you could even ask him that first. ask him, what he thinks is reasonable or acceptable for him to do in regards to contacting OW in your home. He obviously knows it's something he shouldn't do since he was hiding under the covers. <yes, now we can tell how messed up they are and how it's just like a puppylove thing all about hormones messing with their heads and it's not real.>

I said almost the exact same thing to my H. and as far as I could tell, he had the contact outside the home. If us LBS are going to stand for our M, we do need to set boundaries.

of course, definitely figure out what the consequence will be if he doesn't want to comply.

Yes, it is scary to think they may not come back, but just because they are out of the house doesn't mean your hope is lost. you always have hope and a chance to reconcile.

But I believe part of regaining their love is becoming confident. I'm assuming that your probably not as confident as you once were? Confidence is one of the biggest factors that guys find attractive. So we have to be direct, consistent, and unwaivering.

let us know what you decide to do