Do I want him back?

[forward]

Well, had conversation w/H about mediation. I want to be able to discuss my worries about OW around D1 and specifically around not getting ME legally entangled w/OW and insurance.

His nastiness convinces me that he is still very deep in the tunnel but I had no expectations anyway. I am still responsible for H's moods.

First said he wanted D. Then oh wait, back to LS. I told him that I care about him but I am not putting my life on hold for him. He said he didn't want me to. Ok!

The conversation was not too bad but it wasn't good, either.

I think I am doing the right thing and that I do want to pursue LS.

[inmyplace]

Good job, breton.

[forward]

"Does H know you feel this way?"

No, and he's been teenager-y enough that I feel that trying to make this point with him will not work.

That is why I feel compelled to move towards mediation and possible LS. I keep thinking that OW will drive H's car and have an accident, H will be liable and I will also be liable by extension. I also want to ensure that OW is not in my home.

I told MIL that in addition to not wanting to be stuck w/possible lawsuit cause by OW, I am worried about D1.5's safety around OW and OW's creepy entourage and that is why I am seeking meditation. MIL says H does not talk about OW at all.

[forward]

without my asking, H asked about the mediation thing. Wanted to know how much it would cost. I really have no idea and told him so.

He said he didn't think he could afford it. Which reinforces my thought that he is still lost on his own special planet--it is not a priority to him to try to discuss issues around D!.

Or maybe he's afraid of LS. I don't know. But I lean towards not being a priority.

H was pretty free about spending money and never said he couldn't afford something when *I* paid. I am guessing that now he may be thinking twice about my nice big salary and how he could eat out when he felt like it, etc..

So nice that his money is NOT MY PROBLEM. But I am starting to worry that it could become my problem so I think I do want LS.

[celestial]

Breton

You go Girl!! Yes, you`re doing the right thing by protecting yourself and D1.5.

Your H is scrambling now that you`ve decided to take some action. He really doesn`t know what he wants, he got himself into a huge mess and can`t find his way out. Now that you`re not sitting back anymore, he`s more confused than ever.

Keep moving forward Breton and let H go through what he needs to go through. You can`t help him or stop him. Your new stronger attitude will soon catch his eye.

Celestial

[forward]

I am afraid his parents are coming out in September to help him deal with legal stuff.

I had been hopeful that H had made some progress but his mini-spew last night, plus "not having the money" to do mediation makes me think he's just not interested.

Not to mention that he didn't pay CS for D1--he hasn't been too bad about that so far. Maybe he still will.

But something tells me the $$ situation for H is starting to pinch. He needs OW to pay her half of the rent. Wow, not seeming too comfortable.....

[celestial]

Your H will take one step forward, then five steps backwards. He will have many more mini-spews because things aren`t going his way.

I`ll bet your right about money getting tight for him. He`s just suffering the consequences of his behavior, only, he doesn`t get it. He`ll still blame you for his problems, he can`t be wrong about ow, look what he gave up for it. He has to have his way and if he doesn`t, he`ll drag you into his drama.

Good. Things are starting to fall apart for him. Stay strong and don`t get into any arguements with him. Let ow be the cause of his anger. He`ll figure it all out, someday.

Don`t let his parents intimadate you. You are your own woman with a child to care for. Maybe you should seek advice from a lawyer before they arrive, just for protection, just in case. You don`t want to be caught off guard.

Good Luck
Celestial

[forward]

Yes, I am quite certain that he is feeling the pinch, and yes, he still blames me for his problems. Came by today and D1 just played in her pool.

He has not paid me for D1.5's care this month. I have decided that I may opt not to say anything because in a court, H's lack of willingness to pay would count against him.

Have DB appointment tomorrow.

[celestial]

Breton

Don`t let him get away with too much. He may be testing you to see your reaction or drag you into a fight.

Celestial

[forward]

I talked to DB coach and decided to ask H if he would rather pay for just part of D1's care, say every week or so.

I do think mediation will be important. We have practical issues to consider. I kind of ignored H today. Was listening to new music and cleaning as he played with D1. I made myself dinner. H said something like "Give your mommy a break" to D1. Um, yeah. Said he was hungry and I offered him some of what I made but he just ate a little piece and went home. Always complained about my cooking so I guess it still isn't good enough for him! Oh well.

I noticed he was standing really close to me but I think it may have been coincidental.

DB counselor suggested not letting H defer to me in D1's care. Today he asked me if it was too hot to take D1 out. I said "I don't know--what do you think?" He decided it was too hot (actually for him more so than D1, I think, as he was warmly dressed).

Curiously, OW called the house last night but I am assuming that it was just a misdial on her cell. I knew it was her because I did an autocallback. H would've likely been at home.