No wonder so many people feel lifted and unburdened, full of the spirit, when finding the Lord. IMO all they did was to dump their sense of responsibility. You get the same feeling from capitulation by just letting go of all worries over whatever the consequences might be. Successful detachment is the same thing – not worrying for the other person and dumping that burden. I don’t think any of that has to do with strength or weakness.
If you think detachment is about not worrying for the other person then you are just in denial about whatever is keeping YOU in the relationship, unless you are Jesus. I bet if you considered most of the other members of the BB you could make a guess about what might be keeping them in their relationships besides concern for their spouse. How are you different?
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The 12 Step method seems to revolved around the addict falling to such a low level that s/he cannot no longer depend on him/herself for comfort or safety. When there is no trust even in yourself, then who can you turn too? That point seems to be when the idea of making the leap of faith to God becomes a no-lose proposition. Once all seems lost, what else is there to lose by placing your faith in a God, even if you don’t trust Him? It’s worth a shot, right? To me, this is the point of capitulation. Is it necessary to reach a similar point in a relationship before one person is willing to trust another, to make the leap of faith
I really don't know where you are going with this. Are you God and is your wife the Bowery Street Bum?
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I’m thinking that avoidant fusion IS a lack of relation, unless I don’t understand your meaning of avoidant fusion.
Lack of relation is what I have with a stranger on the other side of the planet who calls my cell number by accident. Avoidant fusion is what I have with my mother when I avoid answering my cell because I see that she is calling.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
