A good sign you haven't detached is that you feel anger over him using her truck. When you've successfully detached, the things he does won't make you feel angry.
Instead you might look at things in a different way... (1) sorry for him... ah, he's stuck with OW's crummy truck (and poor weak loser OW who can't find something better then a confused married guy who is still rasing someone else's babies and makes less than 200K a year.... Sheesh! what kind of trophy is that????), (2) mild humor... Oh brother!!! There he goes trying to make me jealous! How transparent is that? I'm not going to fall for that. Too funny!!!
you are right, i have not detached, I am slowly getting there and can't wait till things like the truck will not make me angry. I saw right through it though, it is his way of trying to piss me off, trying to push my buttons, and get angry at him. I am being to nice, and am always pleasant. He is trying like hell to get the old me to come out, so he can see, There, there is is! See Why I left? I won't fall for it, first and foremost, I have changed, and I wont let him bring that nasty, angry person out of me anymore. That is not who I was before I met him, and am figuring out that it was him that brought it out in me.
Originally Posted By: runningoutoftime
You can't control when they are with him (and possibly her) so.... let him DEAL with that. Never get in the middle, and never give him an opinion about the good or bad things happening with the kids when he/they have them. And don't feel jealous when the kids are with them and things are going well (You want the kids to make it through this without too many scars).
I think I am doing very well in this regard. I never react, I make a point of always being fun and the steady and safe place for the kids to go. I never ask him how the kids were when he has them, he always offers up the info, and I just respond accordingly, usually very brief and try not to say to much at all. Honestly today was the most I have spoken with him in the last two weeks.
Originally Posted By: runningoutoftime
Oh, and the man thing. Do NOT make it obvious that you are trying to make him jealous. Be SURPRISED!!! Wow, I really never realized how attractive I am? Men must have some radar that tells them. "Available woman here!!!" I can't believe how often I get "hit on" at the market, in the bookstore, even at Starbucks!!! It's WILD!!!!
I think that is how I came across this morning, I remember you saying that before. When he first said that the gardener must be after something, I completely dismissed it and told him he was being silly, and then I kind of cocked my head and said, well yeah, he was saying that I look really good, and he can tell i lost weight. I really did not try to be obvious about it, I was just very non-chalant about it, and almost sort of, hey i didn't even think about the fact that maybe he was hitting on me? I hope I played that off right? LOL
