Yes, but it does not follow that just because you are confident in yourself that you would be confident and trusting in someone else.
You perceive your wife as relatively weak, right? Therefore, if you allowed yourself to be vulnerable in relation to her you would be acting in opposition to your trust of another person. Therefore the strength you would need in order to be vulnerable in relation to your wife would have to come from you. You can be weak and still have the ability to put your trust in someone you perceive to be strong. Vulnerable is to weak as strong is to guarded.
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When there is no trust in others, caring for yourself in relation to others can cause some problems. Caring for yourself WITHOUT relations to others is clean and simple.
We are always in relations to others. However, sometimes avoidant fusion can look like lack of relation. Avoidant fusion is not a good way to care for yourself. That's why I was questioning BB' suggestion of fantasy-free MB. Maybe it's a differentiated thing to do and a good way to care for yourself. Maybe it's avoidant fusion. Probably depends.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
