A good sign you haven't detached is that you feel anger over him using her truck. When you've successfully detached, the things he does won't make you feel angry.
Instead you might look at things in a different way... (1) sorry for him... ah, he's stuck with OW's crummy truck (and poor weak loser OW who can't find something better then a confused married guy who is still rasing someone else's babies and makes less than 200K a year.... Sheesh! what kind of trophy is that????), (2) mild humor... Oh brother!!! There he goes trying to make me jealous! How transparent is that? I'm not going to fall for that. Too funny!!!
Basically try to stay out of the serious, crazy, potentially and inevitably unhappy ickyness of your husband's life. Keep it out of your immediate sphere... make your life orderly, happy, bright and a place where the kids are content. You can't control when they are with him (and possibly her) so.... let him DEAL with that. Never get in the middle, and never give him an opinion about the good or bad things happening with the kids when he/they have them. And don't feel jealous when the kids are with them and things are going well (You want the kids to make it through this without too many scars).
Oh, and the man thing. Do NOT make it obvious that you are trying to make him jealous. Be SURPRISED!!! Wow, I really never realized how attractive I am? Men must have some radar that tells them. "Available woman here!!!" I can't believe how often I get "hit on" at the market, in the bookstore, even at Starbucks!!! It's WILD!!!!
And it's absolutely true!!! You won't be lying. When you are losing weight, dressing hot, always looking great when you go out, radiating positive energy, smiles, you will get attention, and you will get hit on. Just be careful not to exaggerate it to your husband. Don't flaunt it, just let little bits slip out every once in awhile...
Gosh, I remember one time meeting him at the house after his Wednesday night "dinners out" with the kids. I'd go out with my friends. He mentioned something about, "Well, I hope you had a great time," and I stood in the kitchen and said, "Yeah, it was okay, but I sometimes get kind of tired of all these guys we meet. I like talking with them, but they always want me to call them... they can be so annoying," and I pulled out about three business cards, opened the cupboard under the sink and threw them in the trash. I'd act like I was sooooo pursued! Now, I didn't always come home with phone numbers like this (and maybe not all the guys wanted me to call about dating)! When stuff like this just happened to occur, I'd present it like it was some bothersome thing that happened constantly.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
