I'm realizing that what's keeping my stomach in knots is the fear that DH will leave. I've thought about it rationally and reached the conclusion that he may have to leave if he's ever going to come back, but feeling like it might be imminent, and that I've done something to push him there, scares me silly. I'll just have to go right on through it (can't go over it, can't go under it...) and come out the other side. But I hear in my head, "Oh no, please let me go back and change that." Fear fear fear.
