Ok just had the craziest conversation with H. Not sure if what I said or did was ok, but it felt right.
H: Did the gardener ever come and put in the timer for the backyard. M: Yes, and he is coming back Friday to reseed and put top soil. H: How are you paying for it? M: He is not charging me. H: Why is he not charging? Are you sure he doesn't want anything in exchange? M: Don't be silly, he is married, and he is just a nice guy. (then I realize this is my chance to make him somewhat jealous) M: Well actually maybe you are right? He did keep saying how great I look, that he could tell I have lost alot of weight. He also mentioned that he has a couple friends he could hook me up with that make over 200K a year. I told him I am not interested, I am still married. H: No response
Then we talk about the baby, getting his things, etc. Then as he is leaving I ask if he got the babies blanket (it is a security thing for the baby). He says no, and starts to walk in the house then says: I am not going to walk into your house, you go get it. M: Why? You are being silly (I walk in the house and get the blanket) M: This is our home, this is still your house, you make the payments H: Why would you tell the gardener you are still married, you are not married M: Yes I am, I am still legally married to you. H: But we are seperated M: Yes, but legally still married, and I do not date while I am married. noone has filed for legal seperation or divorce. You know seperation is supposed to be when you are trying to figure out what you want with the marriage, and might possibly get back together. If one of you decides they want a divorce, then that person needs to file the divorce. H: Yeah I guess you are right.
Then some more small talk about the baby, and I tell him I have to go in the house and finish getting ready for work.
So maybe I should not have mentioned divorce, maybe this will push him to file, but he is pretty clueless and it is going to take him awhile to figure it out. At the very least, I let him know how I feel about this, and I don't feel the same about the "seperation" as he does.
