What might she really be communicating?

[Trixi]

In my opinion (keeping in mind, my H is moved out, wants to "feel" broken up, doesn't hold out much hope for us-BUT does seem to want to be friends with me..In other words, I haven't made it to the "other side" of this crisis), anyway, in my opinion, you absolutely MUST have "fun" and NOT talk about any R issues.

Is there a way to go with a group of friends to the wine festival? So then you can say "W, we're all going to the wine festival on such and so date and I thought maybe you would like to join us?" Maybe that is more non-threatening and would take some of the pressure off of her. Then she could observe you without feeling like she MUST interact. It would mean you would have to really be at the top of your game and have the best mental attitude possible. If you wanted, maybe you could keep the sitch unstructured enough that if it seems like you guys are having fun, that you could invite her off by herself if she seems open to it. I am thinking more like walking off by yourselves to watch a sunset or whatever.

The other good thing about asking her to attend with a group is that she will feel free to turn you down without any guilt AND you can "be" okay with her decision because she wasn't the main focus of going.

Maybe all you should do is casually mention the festival is coming up and listen to her response.

It could be that the very reason she is starting to peek her head out of the hole and interact with you more is that you aren't pressuring her and she is feeling safer.