need help to win back WAW

[DaveJ]

Ah so I have my phone session at 7am tomorrow. Hope it gives me some more hope. I finally done my goals. I'm hoping the wife would let me get to the relationship ones. Cuz if after 30 days she flushes it down the drain, I might as well throw them away....

Here they are, is that reasonable?

General
1. Manage my emotions
2. Have patience; think long-term; when in doubt, keep my mouth shut
3. During separation, make the most of the interactions I do have.
4. Keep a Positive Mental Attitude!

Personal Goals:
Short-Term:
1. I will continue to nurture my relationship with my kids and concentrate on keeping their lives as normal as possible throughout this ordeal.
2. I will be the best father I can be to my kids
3. I will learn to actively listen.
4. I will excercise and keep myself healthy.
5. I will relax and enjoy life and have fun.
6. I will focus at work and do the best I can do. My family needs me to have a job.
7. I will Get a Life and try to meet new friends
8. I will be genuine with my wife and be the good husband I should be
9. I will be the best friend I can be for my wife and make it to be fun and pleasant to be around me.

Long-Term:
1. I need to take responsibility for and accept that I alone am responsible for my happiness and life.
2. I need to accept that I am not responsible for improving some else's behavior. And that I cannot change some's thinking, reasoning, or behavior.
3. I will take this opportunity to make my life into the life I want.
4. I need to focus on the strengths of the people in my life.
5. I need to accept that disagreeing opinion is not always wrong.
6. I will stop over-analyzing things, and start dealing with the issues at hand in a realistic manner. If something doesn’t truly matter to me, I will just let it go. If a discussion is necessary, I will be understanding of the other persons point of view, and compromise.
7. I will concentrate more on what others need, and stop being so concentrated on my own wants and needs.

Relationship Goals:
Short-Term (during the first 30 days of S):
1. We try to be good friends to each other and good parents to kids.
2. I stop smothering the wife with emails, IMs, phone calls.
3. I will not talk about relationship or my feelings to wife unless she initiates it.
3. My wife initiates conversations (any type) with me.

Short-Term (when interactions can resume)
1. We will call each other during the day once in a while just to say hi or talk about how our day is going
2. My wife acknowledges there are some positives between us.
3. My wife acknowledges positive feelings / interactions between us when they occur and does not dismiss them.
4. My wife makes positive comments/gestures towards me
5. My wife wanting to spend time with me w/o kids and going on dates
6. We will rebuild our friendship first.
7. My wife takes small steps to release anger and resentment towards me.

Mid-Term:
1. Our separation ends.
2. My wife decides to actively work on our marriage. Take baby steps.
3. My wife will address how she would like things to be handled and what she needs from me.
4. My wife shows me some physical affection.
5. We share in activities and projects
6. My wife will confront/change her ideas of me being unapproachable". She will push past her apprehensions that prevent her from speaking up, and share her thoughts, needs,
complaints, ideas with me.
8. My wife confides in me.
9. We will start sleeping in the same bed again.
11. My wife takes small steps to start trusting me again and not have anxiety or fear around me that she can't be herself.

Long-Term:
1. We stay married
2. We work together to build the relationship/marriage that we both want and deserve.
3. We develop common interests
4. My wife will join me in planning our future
5. We will become more romantic/passionate with each other.
6. We will be intimate on a frequent basis and my wife will be more vocal about her sexual/intimate needs and desires