I do realize after our convo that 90% of this is still about him - his pride, his hurt, his anger, what I did to HIM.
KS - I have been thinking about this, especially the pride part. I keep thinking that we (meaning many of us on this board) have to overcome "male pride" in addition to all of the other challenges we face with MLC.
Not to bash or stereotype the gentlemen here who are going through the same h*ll that we are, but I don't know that my H would ever come home, simply because of his pride.
He is never wrong. NEVER. And, if by the off chance he had a bad day and was wrong, he would never admit it. And I don't just mean during his MLC - he has been blessed with being right his entire life.
When I try and fast forward (I know I shouldn't be doing this) to the part where he comes out of this fog, I don't see him saying, I was wrong to leave you. And to him, coming home would be exactly like saying that. It would be admitting to himself and others that he was wrong.
I know that it is not about right and wrong - but I don't know that he will look at it that way.
I'm so proud of you for praying for your H's healing. I need to learn this lesson from you.
I have been thinking about this, especially the pride part. I keep thinking that we (meaning many of us on this board) have to overcome "male pride" in addition to all of the other challenges we face with MLC.
Oh, a more prideful statement I don't think I've ever heard. Trust me, there is no gender holding a monopoly on pride. You better just get over that.
Quote:
Not to bash or stereotype the gentlemen here
Ya, right.
Now there's no need to get defensive here. I'm just making a point for you to think about. From a guy who's W was NEVER wrong. And I don't believe she's an exception to the rule. Just spend enough time on this board and you'll find out that pride has no gender boundaries.
Love,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
Not to bash or stereotype the gentlemen here who are going through the same h*ll that we are, but I don't know that my H would ever come home, simply because of his pride. But you are thinking it would be the same man that would return and that is where you would be mistaken. For a WAS to turn around, you can not fathom the process that gets them to that place. Pride can be annihilated with just one moment of true clarity about ones self and situation. Pray he has not one, but many.
He is never wrong. NEVER. And, if by the off chance he had a bad day and was wrong, he would never admit it. And I don't just mean during his MLC - he has been blessed with being right his entire life.
When I try and fast forward (I know I shouldn't be doing this) to the part where he comes out of this fog, I don't see him saying, I was wrong to leave you. And to him, coming home would be exactly like saying that. It would be admitting to himself and others that he was wrong. Your focus is in the wrong place. If you stay in THIS place, you won't be prepared for his return. Thus you've made your own self-fulfilling prophecy. Your pride is in thinking you know what he's going to do based on history.
