Plank removed from eye, too late for WAW 3

[Heimlich]

You absolutely cannot control whether W dates OM, has sex with OM, has OM at Xmas, makes pancakes for breakfast with OM with the kids. Drop it, now. She knows you want none of it, you can't control it.

I know. But hell, what do you do as a friend? How can you watch someone you honestly love do something you feel will hurt them without saying something? Look, I understand that she'll do whatever she wants and maybe I'm not communicating that clearly here. In the last two days, mentally, I do feel different. I could not have had that conversation with her a week ago (and it was a conversation). It's just I felt worse not saying something than saying something. Seriously, how do you just not say anything as a friend? And I am moving to give her the space. She is actually starting to talk to me more than I'm starting conversations with her. In my head, our M is over and we're both free to do what we want. Right now, all we are is friends. Maybe we'll become more in the future, who knows.

Sign the agreement. A few months from now she will be much less generous and you will be kicking yourself.

I will when it's written. I doubt she'll be less generous. I've been a little paranoid about money the last week as we move closer to separation. I keep going over my budget and know that I'll be OK financially, but there's lingering fear that it won't be enough or that something will happen. This is based on when my mom divorced my first stepdad when I was 12 or so. I remember not having the money to do much of anything and I don't want that kind of childhood for my kids. Anyway, I opened up to her about this fear (a 180 for me) because I don't want her to think that all I care about is the money, but fears of not being able to provide like we have been for the girls. She was very understanding and spun the conversation out to reassure me that we'll be OK and that if I ever need help, she would help me -- not just for the girls, but for me. I doubt these feelings on this will change.

the "nailing" comment is passive-aggressive as hell. Passive-aggressive is about as unattractive as a person can get without throwing stuff or hitting. Something to try to recognize and work on...

Not lying to myself. This was a joke and she took it that way -- her sense of humor is similar to mine. There is nothing else to it.

Give her 100 times more space than you think she wants because right now you are just not getting it.

I'm trying to move out of the house as quickly as I can, because I feel like we're all over each other -- I don't feel at home here anylonger and I'd like to move as well. She told me not to drag my feet, but that she didn't feel like I've been pushing on her and to take an extra week or two to make sure it's a good place and safe for you and the girls.

I hear you, OT. I really do, and I get it, though it doesn't seem like it. But I'm getting a different reaction/feeling here, in my life, than perhaps what I'm conveying in my writing.