OK some updating. Dom and NH both are like a a couple ny friends locally, pushing that she's manipulating me and putting on a front. Without the benefit of being involved in our interactions or witnessing them it's easy to get that impression, especially when getting only my poorly articulated side. Even my parents had been leaning that way. Well they now have first hand experience on a number of occasions so I'm inclined to listen to their feedback a lot more. Basically they too believe that her intentions are honest, that's she's confused about the separation and reconciliation. My wife and my mom are close and they've talked recently but not directly about us. My Mom thinks my analysis is pretty much on target and that as long as I can continue to show my changes and be positive she'll continue to come around.
On the idea of being positive, I'm basically an optimistic person but I can really get drawn into negative thinking when I am depressed or down. That's been the case all along, a roller coaster of emotions of which is mainly my making. Recently the bookThe Secret by Rhonda Byrne was recommended to me and for me it's been the push over the edge I needed to get back to consistent positive thinking, attitude and being. My wife has notice this change and initial indications are that it is making a big difference in our situation. She has flat out said she likes the positive attitude I now have and wants to spend more time with me. She's even dropped a comment about wanting to be back together with the positive me.
So I highly recommend this book for anyone struggling to turn it around and find that positive attitude again. It makes the "as if" attitude and everything else a darn spot easier to do and be a part of the new you. For me, I feel freed from all that was dragging me down. Freed from the fears I was still harboring.
It's brought a new excitement to each and every day for me. Sure the situation sucks but when I look at what I have to be grateful about it's easy to see all the possibilities. But the biggest thing The Secret has given me is a set of strategies on always being positive. Visualizing the things I want and not only thinking I have them but visualizing that has made a huge difference in how I feel. What's great, is that little goals I have had that I have applied the strategies to have already come true! It's been an amazing turn of events for me and I hope all of you can have it too.
So what kind of things have I visualized? I've started small, remembering that baby steps are the key to making the ultimate goal happen. First it was just for us to sit on our sofa and enjoy each other's company for one of our short visits. A laugh and a giggle here and there. Next was a longer conversation, chit chat and more of the same but now no push by her to get me out the door at the end of the night. She actually said Sunday night, you don't have to leave so soon. Finally for us to have a difficult conversation about the separation agreement but for us to end it in agreement, happy with the outcome and looking forward to our next time together and planning it.
Sure I know there's difficult periods ahead but I now know a better way to deal with them and turn them to our advantage.
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
