Dave: Sorry to hear about your situation; I feel for you and wish you well.
I would love to go with my wife to couples therapy. We're each seeing individual therapists, and despite what Gottman says I think it's worth a shot if we carefully chose someone. I'd love to do the Gottman book with her, or have her read DR or DB or something together and work together. I've not asked for this, however. We're three months into the separation and she's not opening up to me at all. Do you (or anyone else reading this) think it's ok for me to ask gently if she can ever imagine us going to couples therapy or some other form of joint work on the marriage? Not when, not who, just if she can ever see this happening? Or does that strike you as putting too much pressure on her, given that she seems to be operating from the belief that the problems were my fault? I think it's too soon, that suggesting couples therapy or some other joint activity would make her feel that I was running away from the changes I need to make. I do need to make, and have been making, changes. But several friends say I should put this out there, that she "owes" me at least some signal by now. When does patience, which I agree is needed, become foolishness????? Thanks.
