I don't take my ex-OM's calls anymore (ignored one this morning in fact), but that's a new development. Check some of my earlier posts if you really want my take on it.
How do I justify that he calls me? He thrives on drama and that's on him. How do I justify picking up the phone when he called? Read my previous posts, and if you don't get it, then you probably won't. How do I justify it to my husband? My husband encouraged me to take the calls. He ubderstands me and knows that for me, when something is over, it's over. My husband knew I was having problems with my feelings of "never leave a friend behind" (OM was a friend before the affair) and that I had to work through the fact that he is no longer my friend.
As to being "pathetically selfish and deplorable," suit yourself. I cannot possibly explain (nor should I try) myself to someone who doesn't know me, has never met me, and obviously has no idea how I work.
Just because WAS have much in common, don't make the mistake of believing our processes follow the same predictable pattern. we're unique and we have to heal and grow in our own ways.
Perhaps I need to clarify my original post. I don't care if people hate what I was. I do. But I'll be damned if anyone has the right to judge who I am now. If you're angry with your spouse, your situation, or your inability to affect either, that's normal and healthy. But don't make me your target.
The grass may be greener, but then again, it may also be astroturf. ~Amy C Brown
