Need advice on WAW with OM

[svejk]

I am very confused about how to show my wife that I'm not a doormat for her or as she put it, "I have you in the palm of my hand and I can do whatever I want."

Lately, the only time she calls is when she needs help with something. Today she called and I let the call go to VM. She said she wanted me to go to the car dealership with her so I could talk to the mechanic about our son's car. I couldn't say no because I feel like it's still my duty and I felt she would probably be upset that I wouldn't help her. Of course, on the way there and back she wouldn't say a word to me, and my tries at making conversation were rebuffed.

I never have the chance to decline requests for unimportant things like dinner or conversation because she doesn't call for that lately. I really want to politely say no to some of her requests or make an excuse but feel like I'm letting her down. Most of her requests have to do with stuff that she can't or doesn't know how to do for herself. I guess it's a good thing that she isn't asking OM to do these things for her. Although I think she would never want her family to know about the OM because he is about 14 years younger than her and it's just, hopefully, a temporary fling.

I sense a little bit of guilt in her voice when she does ask me to for these types of things. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing.

Is it a good idea to deny some of these requests so that she will realize what she is missing, or will I just upset her and push her further away?

Thanks,
Svejk