I wentt to a family reunion this past weekend and actually enjoyed myself. We had a dance and kareoke. It was fun. An uncle was there who became divorced after 36 yrs. of marriage and is now remarried.They are miserable because of the blended family situation. His ex-wife told me a month ago that if she could go back, she would never have filed. Another uncle was there who was celebrating 60 yrs. of marriage. All this has made me think long and hard about what I really want in my life. Is there life out there after ending a long term marriage? Honestly I wish I could just go on and have my life back but as Bob Dylan said in a song " I keep recycling the same old thoughts". I think of it over and over.Like a movie, I play the scenes back in my mind and I try the stop thing sign and it just doesn't help me. Maybe for some people it works but not me. I don't feel love for my H. anymore, sorry to say it but it is reality. I look at him as a family member and someone I care about but not someone I love in a romantic sense. My noggin is saturated with what ifs and maybes and whys and on and on. Sometimes I feel a little punchy. Thanks for listening. Love, Violets
