Irish, I'm sorry, I really don't know the legalities, either. have you talked to a lawyer? they will usually do a free consult...get all your questions together and take find out who in your area is a good divorce atty and call. I was able to schedule a meeting over the phone (with 2 different lawyers) because with the kids its hard for me to actually go somewhere like that.
H and I are separated, but we aren't legally separated. we are essentially living 2 separate lives, but other than that, nothing else has changed so far. right now, I still pay all the bills (even his personal ones) and he still makes all the money (checks are still auto-deposited into our joint acct). I don't have a lot of the same questions you do, so I feel like I'm being no help here.
I'm so sorry you are dealing with all of this. it is such a scary time, and such a hurt filled place to be in. I think about our anniversary (in october) and the holidays a lot lately...probably because they are some of the few things I have control over. they do make me sad, though, very sad. I'm working on visualizing the good that I can turn them into. I'll be very sad when h isn't here for christmas, and when my kids are with him for thanksgiving. but I'll find a way to find happiness, even thought things aren't the way I would choose them. hope you can, too.
take care.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
