Trying to set those goals!

[Dom R]

She's "letting" him slip away?

by "letting", I mean "not taking any serious action about it".
obviously, she cant "control him". but that doesnt mean there's nothing she could do to attempt to nudge his course a bit.

...
Trick her into the bedroom, push her down on the bed by whatever means necessary, even if she resists..

if i wrote "by whatever means", I didnt mean actual force. (and most women arent capable of more physical force than neccessary.

and there's a big difference between someone saying "i'm not in the mood", and "stop right now".

I didnt mean to suggest doing stuff over a "stop right now".
what I wrote was more along the lines of "help him get in the mood".


Nikki: I really believe that, if this is something that he is looking for, that it would be a positive thing for agent99 to do it. and the way he was behaving and talking, it may be the case.

and I repeat what I said about "1-2 days".
peoples' minds can be more easily changed, before their behaviour becomes a habit, or expected by themselves.
it takes 1-2 weeks for something to become a habit.

To Agent99:

Yeah. I guess I hold out some weird thought that if he really wanted to make sure we felt broken up, all he would have to do is say he was seeing someone.

you'd think that. but if you read all the accounts of infidelity.. almost without exception, they try to keep it a secret, until they are confronted point-blank with irrefutable proof of what they are doing.

Since his first assumption was I was avoiding him (good call on his part since that was part of my motivation), he will probably believe that any 180s I do are reactionary and not self motivated.

since he commented on your behaviour.. you now have an opportunity to change it to be more positive towards him, and be seen as responsive to what he said to you.

My gut reaction to asking him
out is that I chased him when we were dating. He never had to be the one planning something. Either *I* would plan something or we would collaborate. I think it's time for him to get to be the pursuer of me.

Ohhh.. well thats important to know.

But right now, he has no motivation/inclination to chase you.
Are you prepared to be ignored by him at that level for the next few months?
If you are, then ok. if not...I still think this week for you, is a tipping point. It's going to determine how things are between you for the next few months.

If you want to bring up that you have noticed the riding gear is gone, you can do both at once.

"[some kind of nice phrasing of...] I noticed the bike riding gear is not where I thought it was. That reminded me of how much I enjoyed bike riding. How about taking me on a ride this weekend?
(and possibly when/if he turns you down)
well, i'd still like my gear back: I'll probably go with friends then; i DO miss riding"

worse case: he turns you down, you get your gear back, you know that he is not going to do any kind of dating stuff with you for the next few months, and you leave him alone from then on.

personally, I hope that you try it and it works out better for you, though.