hey, I think a good book to read is For Women Only by Shaunti Feldham. It really helped me to understand how my H probably feels and what he really needed. and about this neediness your talkin about.
You can choose to set boundaries with the OW. For instance, I DID kick H out, and then I regretted it and that same week I told him I didn't want to push him out of the kids' lives quicker than needed. and we did want him there so he was welcomed at home at anytime. However, I did need for him to respect us by keeping all contact with OW outside of the house. I was very happy with that decision too. Because it gave me a chance to influence him, and he had less outside influence... the more he was home, the less he was out in the world being influenced by who knows what.
You do have to decide for yourself, what your capable of handling. Of course if having him at home causes you to stumble thru the sitch and have step backs often, then maybe it is best for them not to be there, but I think if a person can handle it, it is best that they stay at home. as long as the children are not being affected in a negative way.
I think your doing great though. keep it up
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
