Lessons from a former WAS

[thegoodfight]

My W. is not sleeping well wakes up about 3 times a night. She seems very irritated probably due to the lack of sleep. She has said it is just stress, I asked her to think about seeing somebody about it! But she said she sleeps fine until she wakes up, then she can't go back to sleep. Don't know, I told her about this weekend my Dad's Bday, told her if she wanted to come she was welcome but if she wanted to stay everyone would understand. She said she will probably come!

I dare to say she probably won't, she has alinged herself with her friend and sister that have been and are going through a divorce. So the divorce isn't so bad support is rocking in full effect now. I am pretty sure that is what is contributing to her added stress, plus she told my parents she was done. Still has not brought up any matters for arrangements though!

I find that interesting, of course after posting this I am sure it will come up this evening. Last night we both played with S. his favorite games and had a good time. My S. hugged us both when she came in the door and said happy and pushed her head and mine together.

It is amazing what little ones pick up on. It brought a tear to my eye and she looked like she was mad at me again I am sure. Because I put us in this position, I made her feel this way. I am causing this family to divide.

I don't argue, there isn't much point at disagreeing. It becomes a question of forgiving. Can you forgive or does it feel better to hold on to the hate? What happens when the hate goes away, then what, then what do you have regret, or peace. I doubt many find peace through hate!

Best of days to all, I hope we are given grace and the ability to push on. May his armour protect us from those that wish to see us destroyed. I see the attacks all the time now, some traps I fall into and some others are, constant attacks at my W. through family and friends that "mean Well". Constant attacks toward me, signs like give up move on, just give her what she wants. Heck even my Dad said son after talking with her I would just say get a lawyer. I love my Step dad, but I don't think he is right this time. I am going with my gut and hanging in there.