Keep standing for yourself, your kids, your family and your marriage. Unfortunately, it does sound like your divorce will probably go through before your wife "wakes up" and I'm very sorry to hear that. It makes me SICK that a state would even allow it. When kids are involved I think it should be 6 months minimum with mandatory MC (1 session per month).
Sadly, I think your only option is to LRT (Last Resort Technique: see DB or DR... I thought DR was the better of the two when in separation and divorce).
Do NOT be angry, blaming, BITTER (that's the big one to avoid!!!), or mean. The divorce is probably going to go through because of the time. But do not poison that relationship. WORK ON FRIENDSHIP. Even if only for the kids. They really need that.
And don't date or go crazy!!! Your kids need stability, a great role model. You need to be that. And a rebound relationship will only add more craziness to your and their lives. (But don't let W know this... a little mystery is always good. Hopefully she *thinks* you could be thinking of dating? Just the idea that there "could" someday be another stepmom might be a nice jolt to her reality.... heck, give her the movie "Stepmom" as a divorce present! Hee hee!!!! Just kidding...).
Do you have a great lawyer? What's the custody??? If she's fleeing, get as much custody as you can....
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
