The gym will be great... gets the endorphins up (and the butt tight)!!!!! Yeeeeeah!!!!
Before you decide to go live under a bridge, consider Florida... or even Boston. Did you ever hear that song?... below is part of the lyrics (I seem to be thinking about songs alot today...).
Even though the idea of actually moving to Florida or the east coast was more fantasy than reality, it did give me something to dream of. And it opened up my life to other possibilities. Why not at least DREAM of living elsewhere? I even contacted a real estate agent and had her send me magazines of new homes there!!!! Heck, I think I'm still on the mailing list!
You wrote: "I sure hope I can use my new found relationship information on my marriage with H, but am doubting more and more that I am going to get the opportunity. The more I look at stuff, go back through old letters etc, I see that he has been angry for a long, long time."
"Giving up" on your marriage will help you detach. It's okay to doubt it. You cannot expect it. In order to detach you have to let go. This does not mean it's "over" or the door is "closed." It's just you have to move forward and create a great life regardless of where he goes. He's welcome in, but that has to be his choise. You can't lure him back or expect he will walk back in that door.
(By the way, my husband was very angry with me for MANY years. Even if things didn't work with OW he was determined to leave me and be with anyone else. Don't think anything is predictable. Anything can happen).
__________________ She said I think I'll go to Boston... I think I'll start a new life, I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name, I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather, I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain... I think I'll go to Boston, I think that I'm just tired I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind... I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset, I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice... oh yeah,
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
