Trying to set those goals!

[NikB]

Dom - I agree with you that it's a good idea to ask him on some kind of fun/exciting date and see how he responds. Connecting that way sounds really good right now.

But the rest of what you wrote in your latest post kinda worries me. She's "letting" him slip away? How does she have any control over that? He MOVED OUT and said he wants to be broken up. Totally agree that some changes, 180s, etc. might work but I don't think "1 to 2 days" are going to make a whole lot of difference - it took him a long time to get to this point, he's not going to change his mind in a day. And I really think there's very little in terms of her H that Agent99 has any control over right now. Yeah, a drastic 180 might be a good idea to shake things up - but there is no perfect magic thing that she can do today to control what he decides. I know we ALL wish there was, but there really isn't.

I was thinking about one of the scenarios (the trench coat one) from a "gender reversed" perspective and it was really kinda scary. Trick her into the bedroom, push her down on the bed by whatever means necessary, even if she resists... then take care of 'your' business, and leave her to take care of herself. Wow.. that does NOT sound so positive to me. It's not attractive to EITHER person to throw yourself at someone who doesn't want you. (and it can start to read like borderline rape if the person REALLY doesn't want it). If they do have some good dates, if they do get to Piecing, and they both want each other, then I agree something crazy and aggressive like that might be fun! But not right now.

As far as the chaps - I think my3sons has a good idea, wait until you'll need them and then ask about them. I wouldn't even mention that you checked the usual spot, just ask if he's run across them since you can't find them.

For that matter if you ask him on the motorcycle date that might be the perfect time - invite him, and if he accepts you have the perfect opportunity to look for your chaps, notice they are missing, and ask if he's seen them.