There and Back, #2

[SallyM]

tough morning, that ended okay. first, H came by to spend time with the kids. saw his new car...its gorgeous. very, very nice. and it made me sad, because again, event I have nothing to do with. he was chatting away like all was normal...told me about the party his team is having for him at their bosses house on thursday night. that, too, made me sad, and made me realize just how important it is for me to not hear about his social life right now. I should have re-iterated that, but instead I asked the question...does everyone know now about us? he hesitated, then said his boss does. not about OW (yeah, I asked), but about us being apart. I wanted to ask if he said separated or divorcing, but was so sad I didn't think about it until after the fact. instead, I just teared up and went inside.

how sad is that?

I got myself together, went back outside, and told him that he had to understand, this was hard, but I would get there, I would. he told me he knew I didn't believe it, but he wasn't "there" yet either. whatever. that just angers me, because its his choice, I just get to accept it. so if he isn't there, he's doing everything he can to get there, and nothing not to.

I went back inside, this time normally, not in a huff, and started to check some e-mails and such, and he came in, helped himself to food, and started hovering over me. asking questions about my grandmother, about my sisters visit, etc. asked what my plans were this weekend. again, should have re-iterated that I don't want him to ask about my social life, just as I don't want to know about his. if he does it again, I will. not sure if its worth e-mailing about right now, though (what do you think?)

I ended up going to therapy and had a really, really good session. mostly about me, which is nice, she is good about keeping me focused on me. too bad she isn't here 24/7. lol.

when I got back, I was fine, and H of course asked about therapy and what I talked about. again, I was vague and said about me. I should have re-iterated that I didn't want him to ask me about it any more, but I didn't. next time (if I e-mail about the other thing, will include this).

not much else to tell. he ate almost the entire batch of cookies. ass. next time I either need to hide them...or maybe I should make more. lol...get him good and fat. but I'm really bugged by him eating my cookies for some reason. I know he loves them, but he doesn't deserve my cookies anymore, he deserves the storebought ones she gets.

grumble grumble.