Where to go from here...

[COG]

AmyC,

I like that your H is flirting with you. In person and on the phone. Him playing trick's on you with D, that's a good thing. You definately seem to be on the right track. But it may take another year or so, so don't get discouraged.

As for this female friend. Oh does that stink. My W had a male co-worker stay over night at her house once after a Christmas party that I was'nt invited to. I really wanted to beat the crap out of both of them, but I did'nt, I turned it over to God. I'm 99.9% sure nothing happened, did'nt worry much about it, just let it go. The choices she makes in life are between her and her God. She alone will have to answer for them come the judgement day.

Another time, one of the kid's told me that they had a wresting match with mom one evening, and different male co-worker who happened to be going through a D at the time, had taken part. What a nice vision that was. My W, my kid's and this ahole all in a cute little wrestling match, in my friggin house, at a time when she could barely even come into contact with me let alone wrestle with me. Well she heard from me that time. Not an angry outburst but more of a reality check. Basically told her that it was NOT OK with me. Now I did'nt have many things that were "not OK" with me while we were separated, so she got the message loud and clear. I did'nt have to give an ultimatum, she just knew I was'nt going to continue to stand for the M if she kept on with that kind of behaivior. She apologized and did'nt do it again.

So I think you have to pick your battles. I think for now I'd vote to let it go. If her name shows up again on the calendar, then you might have to have a heart to heart with H. An honest and loving, not angry, conversation. Basically, hey H, I love you, I want you, I want our family living under one roof together, but if you want someone else I understand. I would just appreciate if you would be honest with me so that I can move on with my life. In either case, you have an informant in the house that will likely keep you abreast of H's activities.

And as for this girl on the calendar. She does'nt hold a candle to you.

Love,

COG