Klm, Sometimes the email communication works and sometimes it does not. I tend to spend a long time composing these emails to H as sometimes that is the only way to get thru to their brains, which are not functioning. He may have wanted to argue, it is a way of comunicating and he wants that money. I swear if they want to get into it and argue they will.

You may want to take all the money out and put it in an account in your name only, if he can go to the bank and get it out with a withdrawal slip. I should have listened to advice and had more money put aside. I actually have a lot of it in cash in the house which is risky, but now when I have to fill out a financial disclosure legal document there is no paper trail or accounts or safe deposit box. I do not think it will get to that with you but you may want to "hide" some money. Not that you or I probably have a lot to hide at this point. Take the money, he will be angry, but he is angry now and you might as well benefit by gaining the money and control.

I will tell you that I feel the same way about the yard work and house stuff. I am overwhelmed at this point. Mine is just going to work and ocd cleaning his apt and watching that 42in plasma he paid 1900.00 for when he moved. In the first and second time he moved out, that is how we stayed connected by him coming here to do things. With no children, and just the dog we had no exchange that way like some couples do. Of course the other times he came back when he moved he was in a different head space, he would find excuses to come out here. This time I may have made a mistake that I told him I would cut the lawn as he made some snide remarks about lots of women take care of house all by themselves, of course these are houses that are not falling apart and have tiny yards with no trees! I was trying to show him that I was independent and it may have backfired. He told me that when he came back the other times it is because I was so "nice" and he saw something in my eyes. If you can get him to share some of the work at the house I would approach him by telling him that you will both benefit from the joint sale of the house and he need to step up and help you out. You may tell him that you know he has always been responsible type guy ( tell him anyhow!) or appeal to him at some level without sounding needy. I also would tell him that you may not even be there all the time if he doesn't want to see you. I would not be here sometimes when he would come to yard and then come home later. I let him think I was getting a life. He came back. But look at my situation now! It may be a chance to connect with him and remind him of your home together. Funny but sad, H called our residence our home in the settlement paper....instead of legal term house or dwelling.
Now that he has decided that I am keeping the house and we filed he has completely washed his hands of the whole thing. He has all his stuff and has told me to sell or get rid of his things that are left here.... Thanks. My gutters are full and he never cleaned them this spring. I tried to get him to come out and sharpen the lawnmower blades and he told me to call someone and have them pick up the rider and push. Sure, I have an extra 125.00 to do that, when he could come and take them off and use our grinder like he has. I am very worried about the fall leaves, we have to rake and burn them and it was almost more than 2 of us could do. I have no extra cash to pay anyone either. As I write this I really realize what an angry mean jerk he is. Funny thing is he would help anyone else in the world.

Maybe make a list of things that need to be done at house and ask him to do some and tell him the ones that you are doing. As he wants to sell, tell him it is in his best interest to help keep the yard nice. On my part I may have to hire someone and split the bill with him. At this point I am just trying to not get into it with him. At every turn he now trys to leverage me with if you don't do this.... the cooperative divorce is off and he is hiring an attorney and the settlement deal is off.... nice.