Sex and Validation

[Burgbud]

(tripod) You love dancing....but you can never do so with a partner that really wants to dance with you ever again.

In the discussion with Cemar, the issue isn't that he loves dancing, it's that he loves the feeling that someone *wants* to dance with him. Why is that? Because he needs the validation.

Being needy for validation is an impediment both to Cemar's trying to get his wife to desire him and me trying to get my partner to want to dance with me. I've never said that the situation Cemar and many others around these parts find themselves in doesn't suck because it certainly does.

The answer, though, is to self-validate and move ahead into a life of purpose. We can find things other than dancing and sex that will make us happy. If we do that maybe our contractual partners will come around. Maybe they won't. Either way, we're better off with our new life. Right?

I mean, if you can find a way to bribe, whine, cajole, threaten, barter or use any other external means to make your partner desire you...you've got a best selling book on your hands.