I've clearly taken it upon myself to discern which of the things they say will have meaning for me and which won't. I've essentially taken them out of the loop and am making all the decisions myself.
So does this mean that you maintain a certain wall, certain level of detachment? It sounds to me that by taking the others out of the loop, you are removing any emotional connection and focusing only on the intellectual facts in order to make the decision for yourself. How do you think the other person feels about that? How close do you think they want to get to you? Could that be what some of the ladies in your square dancing class are picking up from you?
Let’s assume that is the case. IMO the mere fact that you noticed a difference and bothered to mention it tells me it is niggling in the back of you mind. Maybe no big deal now. But if in another intimate relationship, it could be.
So how is, "I'm only going to take to heart the positive things you say about me," different from or better than, "I accept myself as I am and am happy with that"?
Then why do the ladies that seem distant to you bother you?
