Could it be that my mother's interference is what's keeping our marriage from finishing it's healing?

I would phrase it as YOUR allowing/"forcing" your wife to shield you from your mother could be an issue. Of course your wife has chosen to shield you and that is/was her choice also.

So now you are stepping up to the plate and dealing with your mom which will have 2 affects. One is that you feel more confident because you are handling your own issues and the second is that your wife gets to let go of a duty she "improperly" took on which is a relief for her.

It sounds like you have done some great work on yourself if handling your mom turned out to not feel so difficult!!



But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus