Thanks for the perspective everyone. I do have to say, I am being extremely nice but I found something yesterday lying under the couch, my self-esteem. Seriously, I have been doing a lot of thinking, reading, thinking, writing, reading, thinking and I realize something, ONLY I CAN HURT ME!
W is totally powerless over me. I even noticed that physically she looks diffrent, I'm not as attracted to her. My feelings have totally changed, not in the sense that I wouldn't be willing to work on things, but that I'm no longer willing to take her crap and indecision.
My plan and goals: I'm moving forward with this divorce, she is stalling by not filling it and wanting my approval, I'm going to force the hand. I understand that this isn't a DB'ing tactic of sorts, but I'm ready either way. She can't continue to claim victim and confusion on my behalf. I wasn't a great husband but I was a good husband. This is her choice, her actions have already shown that she has choosen and now I'm just going to allow her to walk the path that she has chosen. If she decides to look back and see what is there, great, if not, well I'm already meeting OW and I plan on starting dating prior to this going final. Hell, even if she wanted to work on things, I think I would only permit dating between us at this point and I doubt I would be exclusive either. She hasn't earned that.
Bitter, a little. But I'm standing for me now. Take your shots!
