It is about the DESIRE for sex. And the reason why is because the DESIRE for sex impacts a persons personality in a huge way. I have said it before, when my wife went from HD to LD, it was like a complete transformation of her personality.
Cemar, it isn't about the desire for sex. Sex drive is not directly corelated with being affectionate, flirtatious, loving, emotionally generous, fitb.
I don't think that NOP would argue that his higher sex drive made him more than any of those things than I was. *I* was those things in a much more expressive way than he.
As our relationship suffered, as we managed to rack up hurts on each other, as the demands of life interfered, as we withdrew from each other, as we began to be unappreciative of each other, as we began to have fewer "positive" interactions and more "negative" ones, as we developed a negative emotional dance (he does this, I respond this way, I do this, he responds that way, ad infinitum), as we began to see each other as something of an "enemy" - a general attitude of *caring* for each other dried up and was seldom if ever expressed.
I'm not trying to hammer you, but as long as you equate *everything* about your wife as a result of her lack of sex drive, you are likely to never actually find resolution.
What sort of conversations do the two of you have? What were the last 2 things the two of you did together for fun. When was the last time you talked about politics, religion, current events?
I just picture the two of you walking through the day, carefully avoiding each other both physically and emotionally, and never making eye contact.
I think just about everyone on here who has ever posted more than a couple of times has shared interactions they just had with their spouse: conversations, arguments, blowups, rudeness, unkindness, disagreements - I cannot recall a *single* interaction you have ever posted about you and your wife.
So, can you tell us anything about the interactions the two of you had over the weekend, for instance?
