Charcoal, I know it's hard. I know you are in pain, but so is your H. All of us have come to learn that we are 50% responsible for the deterioration of our Rs, and that this happens ever so slowly. You are here for guidance on what to do. Your H is here for the same reason. Thus, you both want the same thing, but are unsure of the path. Yet, how to get there? It won't be easy. It will take work from both of you...and lots of it. However, in order to work on your R each of you also need to deal with your own demons. This means your H really needs to come to the party as well...and you have the unique opportunity for him to do this as he will gain guidance from the folks here.
I know you're scared. I know you want to flee. I know there's lots of pressure. I know the pain is almost more than you can bare...but so is your H's. Very often we let our pain guide our choices and we know, deep down, that those choices are not necessarily right. I'm afraid this pain is overshadowing not only your choices, but his as well.
My thoughts are with you and your H. And, I'm sorry.
