Scott..long time no post. I apologize as you probably know that I am trapped on the rollercoaster from hell.
Scott....there is very little for me to add here. I do agree with previous posts that, I think that you get too easily dragged into some discussions with your W that become emotionally elevated. Try and leave that behind. I have actually found a .pdf that had good advice, the Stop Your Divorce .pdf. In spite of the title, it has helped. One area that really seems to work is, as mentioned earlier, to stop defending yourself and sometimes, just agree with her. It truly DOES, at times, take the wind out of their sails. My example:
W: You know, you didn't have to remind me to kiss the kids goodbye. You are NOT the warden of my life. I love them too..just like you. M: XXX...you're totally right. I really thought that you were rushed and my words came out wrong. I should have either not said it or worded it better. You're right.
(dead silence)
I also just want to reiterate, which I know is ad nauseum, that I feel your pain with regards to your girls. My D4's love brings me to my knees and if you want to see a 6ft tall guy get all mushy and bent outta shape, just come over here and watch my D4 greet me. I know....I know...that they mean the same and all the world to you. That's what makes you such a great guy. Look at all the women on this site where their H's abandon their kids. cire2 wrote to me a simple thing...they need love...and CONSISTENCY. You're there for them Scott. You are THERE.
Scott...don't cave. Promise me you won't cave for them. Don't fail. DO NOT LET YOUR W MAKE YOU FAULTER AND BE ANYTHING LESS THAN THE ROCK. Don't ever believe for a second that this is all you or that you are a failure. Look at my sitch and you will see this even more clearly now. You really only have ONE THING (remember Jack Palance in City Slickers)...ONE....to focus on. THAT....is the equation.
Check out this book, Scott. It is helping me with the kids. Perhaps it may help with yours..simply to understand what it means.
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
