yes you could do just fine without h...there is a certain fear of it though isn't there?
perhaps you could be happy with h...but there is a certain fear that it wont work isn't there?
I quoted your closing quote simply because it makes sense...anything is possible...it is all a choice...wich way is better? which way is easier? wich way offers the most reward? those answers are all up to you...
look at my sit...I am by no means happily married..infact just yesterday i called a lawyer myself..reserved to the fact that my h just wont change and doesn't care...low and behold...h speaks...it is not what he wants..but doesn't know what he wants...that's fine because though I'm commited (most days) to trying to make it work and wanting to save my m...not only save it but make it a great one..there are days weeks even when I don't think it's worth it and want to give up.
I'm not sure if you truly want to give up...have made a final decision..I may be wrong but I think the fact that you posted these thoughts here is some indication that you aren't totally sure...you know people here are about saving the m and will try to show you other possibilties..ask you to have patience etc..
it is ok to be afraid...the unknown lies in both directions...being without h and on your own is an unknown..being with h and working toward a healthy r is an unknown...you wont know unless you try..and both try..yes h sounds like he needs a bit of work...don't count out his fears as well.
