Last Wednesday was monumental. I discovered my forward momentum in terms of reconciling my R was based in fear. Fear that I would not be able to provide for the kids. Fear that my kids would not have access to their Dad as he refuses to stay around because he can't see me with another man. (Not interested in securing another R in my life right now, no matter...). Regardless, H's intent is to MOVE 2400 miles away.
My forward momentum in terms of reconciliation was deflated as I realized that I would be fine. That I could certainly provide a stable home for my children and that I will not fail in the face of fear again.
So, apparently H spent Thursday and Friday reading all of my posts here on the DB website.
H called me at work to tell me how badly I hurt his feelings. H started a fight on the phone while I was at work. Not the first time. Hopefully the last.
I can't do this. I don't want to. I'm done for now. H says NOW he'll change. NOW he wont do that stuff anymore.
and yet, last night... we talked endlessly for 3 hours straight
......... 
