I am a shy, introverted person also. I had, for the longest time, convinced myself that I really didn't want or need to make small talk. That I didn't want to waste my time on needless chatter or meeting and connecting with new people. I used this attitude as a sort of armor with which I maintained a certain aloofness that insured that I was semi-isolated in social settings. The more isolated I felt, the more insecure I felt, and so the more I hid my insecurity (even from myself, though not entirely successfully) in this attitude.
Fast forward to today. In the process of really looking at myself and trying to understand my role in the marital troubles I am going through, I realized this is something I wanted to change. This is how I am going about it. Whenever I go out to the store, or into my office, or anywhere that there are people, I settle my features into a nice relaxed half-smile, friendly, kind of Mona Lisa-esque. I then make it a point to look into, and I mean right into, the eyes of every person I see. This has always been a real problem for me in social settings. Something I've had to force myself to do for job interviews, etc.
The results have been amazing. The responses to my looks (I don't stare down or leer) are varied, but they have never been bad. Some will ignore my gaze entirely (this would be me before this excersize) and continue on past as though I wasn't there. Some will catch your eyes and quickly look away. Some will nod briefly as if to say "hey". Alot will respond by returning your smile, and many of those will actually say "Hi". the whole thing has been very cool.
The point for me is to engage, however briefly, with another human being and become comfortable within this limited social context. As a result, I have been noticably more comfortable interacting in situations where small talk is expected, just by becoming more comfortable within my own skin.
The mall, if you have one nearby, is a great place to practice this. So are bike path / walking trails, the gym, or the grocery store. it really challenged me at first, but I couldn't imagine not doing it now.
LM
LM
Lucky me, I could have been someone else FOREVER! Whew, that was close!
