Passion Paradox: Its not really a feel good idea but a interesting look at the "game" of relationships, unfortunately it would seem that the solution to the paradox would be a race to the bottom.
I know you'all are going to scream but isn't this where self-validation and differentiation can help too??
I think even in the same relationship couples can go back and forth between who has the deepest feelings for the other. If you are not relying on that person's constant validation of you to keep yourself "happy", then you can deal with their "reduced" love for awhile which in turn takes the stress out of the relationship which then allows the person to fall deeply in love with you again.
You know this might again be part of why I think growing up on a farm can help. During planting season and harvest my dad HAD to put farming as a priority and my mom did the same. It was common for them to comment that BOTH had forgotten their anniversary because it happened during harvest. They didn't see forgetting their anniversary as a comment on how much they loved or didn't love each other. Rather they saw it as "proof" of how busy and hectic their lives were.
Then that allowed them to relax and when things slowed down again they had more time like in the summer Dad would bring wild flowers to my mom and they would go on walks ALONE at sunset. They allowed for a SEASONAL aspect to their relationship which I believe strengthened their love for each other rather than weakened it as it seems to happen for many people. it would make sense that farmers would be much more in tune with seasonality in life as a whole so they naturally could apply it to their personal lives without even being conscious of it.
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
